My son will have his fifth birthday in heaven next week.
Birthdays and holidays have become hard as a Bereaved Mama but I find comfort in doing things to commemorate & honour Braedon on these days and I give myself permission to feel all of it.
Knowing this, my husband surprised me with the most beautiful & incredible Christmas gift this year.
We'll be packing our suitcases for an extra special adventure & crossing something off Braedon's bucket list on what should be his 23rd birthday.
Not long after Braedon's passing I found a guided journal he had from school. Naturally I opened it up and flipped through it to see what treasures I might find.
Instantly my heart sank though and tears poured down my cheeks as I read in his unique chicken scratch handwriting, "Things I want to do before I Die.”
An ocean of emotion washed over me making it hard to breathe as I pulled that page from his notebook knowing that he would never get to do any of the things on that list.
Sobbing, I immediately I took it down to my office, framed it and placed it on the corner of my desk where it still sits today.
I didn't really know how but I decided I was going to complete his list that day and it has become one of my most important and meaningful goals and a unique part of my healing journey. See our first adventure completing my son's bucket list here and check out our pictures below.
It's exciting, heartbreakingly beautiful, and sad all at the same time.
I refuse to waste what was taken from Braedon though. The gift of life, of time and the opportunity to wake up every single day and chase my boldest and wildest dreams.
I won't take this life for granted and I won’t let grief harden the jagged edges of my heart or colour it grey either. So I'll pick up my pieces even though it will be hard & I'll take this adventure he never got to go on.
I'll carry him in my heart and bring him with me as I take these steps for him. And I will be and feel all the things as I continue to be brave and live on in his honour.
Stay tuned to hear more about where we're headed to this WEEK!
Why is this so Important?
This is something I want to do for Braedon and in the process it has become an important part of my healing journey and a way for me to continue to strengthen our bond. Beyond that though I want to be a gentle reminder to every grieving Mother or woman who's faced heartbreaking loss or adversity that no matter what we go through our lives can still be beautiful and meaningful. I want to be give hope to those who struggling to find it.
How sweet is my honey?
XO Tiffany
PS Stop putting off your list. I know there are things you want to do, goals you dream of completing and places you want to see. We’re here for a TBD number of days. So stop waiting. Stop telling yourself someday.
Tiffany Agnew's son Braedon Beebe Lyon died in 2018 just four months after his 18th birthday.
His short life transformed every part of who she is and he continues to guide her from afar.
She has found healing through writing, speaking and embracing life to the fullest. She's on a mission to inspire others to embrace bravery and heal their hearts through intentional and inspired living.
What's on your list?
Email TIFFFANYDAGNEW@GMAIL.COM to share what you want to do or have done.
How are you honouring your child in heaven? We want to hear your story. Email TIFFANYDAGNEW@GMAIL.COM using subject line honouring my child in heaven. We may share your story.
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